The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'

When you're through learning, you're through.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

Conferences are just like the poor and the Democrats, they will always be with us.