There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.

The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.