The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I'll bet he can't invent a good meal out of one.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.