Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they're not making any more.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.