The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.