Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.

A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

There is a terrible lot of us who don't think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it's not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

When you're through learning, you're through.