Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

America is the first country where people go to the poor house in their car.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday.

That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election.