A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

There are three types of men in the world. One type learns from books. One type learns from observations. And one type just has to urinate on the electric fence himself.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

Labor leaders don't do much laboring after they are able to lead.