A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.

The French couldn't hate us any more unless we helped 'em out in another war.

I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.