If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

If you are trying to get out of the hole, stop digging.

Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.