My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.

I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

So the question rises: How much liberty can you get away with? Well, you get no more liberty than you give!

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.