My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is that the Democrat is a cannibal, they live off each other, while the Republicans live off the Democrats.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.