There is one thing about Englishmen, they won't fix anything till it's just about totally ruined. You couldn't get the English to fix anything at the start. No! They like to sit and watch it grow worse. Then, when it just looks like the whole thing has gone up Salt Creek, why, the English jump in and rescue it.

That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election.

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.