Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights.