When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

You can't fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn't necessary.

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

Originality will be rewarded in any line.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?