Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Conferences are just like the poor and the Democrats, they will always be with us.
On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.