On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help them back to bed again.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.