The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.

If a man ain't nothin' else, then he's an artist. It's the only thing he can claim to be that nobody can prove he ain't.