Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help them back to bed again.

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.