Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

There is a terrible lot of us who don't think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it's not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

Course, that's the trouble with politics, it breeds politics! So that makes it pretty hard to stamp out.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Work to make a living; serve to make a life.