The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.

If a man ain't nothin' else, then he's an artist. It's the only thing he can claim to be that nobody can prove he ain't.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.