Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.