In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.

American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.