All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

Personally, I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter...he's just got to know.

When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.

The South is dry and will vote dry. That is, everybody that is sober enough to stagger to the polls will.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.