You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.

My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.