I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

My comfort zone is press conferences.

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

I call my balls the bush twins.

I'll never forget my grandmother's last words. She said 'What are you doing?'