I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.

Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it.

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.

The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them... they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.

Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.