Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.

My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.

Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.

You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.