I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.
Zach GalifianakisFat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
Zach GalifianakisI live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'
Zach GalifianakisElement of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.
Zach GalifianakisI wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.
Zach Galifianakis