My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.

There was a long time where I was an "artist" in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.

My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.

I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.

I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11."

I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.

I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'