My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

I like characters that are fragile and a little bit on the edge .

Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.

You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody's so tired.

There was a long time where I was an "artist" in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend.