My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.

I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.

I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.