I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.

I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.

I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.

Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.

You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.

My real last name is Galifianakisburg.