I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.

I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.

I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.