I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.
Zach GalifianakisDo you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
Zach GalifianakisI have never been much of a groomer. I take baths a lot, but I don't wear deodorant. I don't have to. I have a miraculous body scent. I've had women smell me and say that should be bottled. I would advise guys to lay off the Drakkar, because the cavemen weren't wearing it. They might have been putting mint leaves on their balls, but your scent is grown naturally. I have really good dating advice.
Zach Galifianakis