American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.

I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!

I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.

I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11."

I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."

People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.