I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.

I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.

I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.

I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have integrity in general, comedic or otherwise.

I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.

My comfort zone is press conferences.

I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'