I learned in school that money isn’t everything. It’s happiness that counts. So momma sent me to a different school.

When I'm alone, I can sleep crossways in bed without an argument.

My husband taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.

When in trouble, take a bath and wash your hair.

I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house.

We were both in love with him. I fell out of love with him, but he didn't.