Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.

Me and Fred Wolf wrote the movie [ Grown Ups]. The whole idea was about putting together old friends that get to hang out for a weekend.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

I've always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

Girls are soft and pretty.