Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

I read to my kid, but I can't stand reading.

I'd like to have a kid, and I'd like to be driving around. I know a kid is going to be a big part of my life. I can trust my kid. I know my kid would be in the backseat of my car, and when I say You wanna get some ice-cream? he's going to be happy. My brother has kids. I see that trick work, the ice cream trick.

In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.

With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'