Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.

Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.