When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.

For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.

Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.