There are no I's in we but there are two i's in Wii.

I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce....I thought he was missing.

Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?

Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.

I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.

Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water.