When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.

Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn't a mean thought in his body. I've always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart.

I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis.

I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee.

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.