... it's simply wrong to always order [kids] to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights and damned well should be fighting.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Do I have to use my own money?