In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
We aim to please... You aim too, please.
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!