God, I am freaking out. Maybe he doesnโt know. Maybe I just look guilty of something and heโs picking up on that.
Jay AsherAnd like I said, I didn't know him very well, but my ears perked up whenever I heard his name. I guess I wanted to hear something - anything - juicy. Not because I wanted to spread gossip. I just couldn't believe someone could be that good. If he was actually that good... wonderful. Great! But it became a personal game of mine. How long could I go on hearing nothing but good things about Clay Jensen? Normally, when a person has a stellar image, another person's waiting in the wings to tear them apart. They're waiting for that one fatal flaw to expose itself. But not with Clay.
Jay AsherHalf of them kept repeating my name, trying to get it right, while the other half laughed. But they were harmless. Fun drunks make a nice addition to any party: Not looking to fight. Not looking to score. Just looking to get drunk and laugh. I remember those guys. Like the mascots of the party. "Clay! Whatcha doon here? Bah-ha-ha-ha!
Jay AsherThat's what I love about poetry. The more abstract, the better. The stuff where you're not sure what the poet's talking about. You may have an idea, but you can't be sure. Not a hundred percent. Each word, specifically chosen, could have a million different meanings.
Jay AsherIt's nothing. A school project. My go-to answer for anything. Staying out late? School project. Need extra money? School project.
Jay AsherI've always loved brainstorming with other writers, and I consider having my work critiqued a part of that brainstorming.
Jay AsherAnd after I dropped him off, I took the longest possible route home... I explored alleys and hidden roads I never knew existed. I discovered neighborhoods entirely new to me. And finally... I discovered I was sick of this town and everything in it.
Jay AsherDo you remember the last thing you said to me? The last thing you did to me? And what was the last thing I said to you? Because trust me when I said it I knew it was the last thing Iโd ever say.
Jay AsherHannah wasn't my first kiss, but the first kiss that mattered: the first kiss with someone who mattered. (pg 222).
Jay AsherAnd what if in the future we're at war again, or we still haven't elected a non-white or non-male president, or the Rolling Stones are still dragging their tired old butts on stage? That would depress me way too much.
Jay AsherA flood of emotions rushes into me. Pain and anger. Sadness and pity. But most surprising of all, hope.
Jay AsherโBecause if I hadn't been so afraid of everyone else, I might have told Hannah that someone cared. And Hannah might still be alive.
Jay AsherYes, it feels great to plan your life when you believe everything can turn out fine. But what about when you're shown, again and again, how little control you have over anything? No matter what I do to try to fix my future, it doesn't work.
Jay AsherIt's important to be aware of how we treat others. Even though someone appears to shrug off a sideways comment or to not be affected by a rumor, it's impossible to know everything else going on in that person's life, how we might be adding to his/her pain. People do have an impact on the lives of others; that's undeniable.
Jay AsherImagine ten or tweleve orange chairs arrainged in a circle, with the happy woen from the flyer sitting at opposite ends. Only problem was, from day one, they weren't happy. Someone, whoever made that flyer, must have digitally turned their frowns upside down. They wrote about death. About the evilness of men. About the destruction of-and I quote- "the greenish, bluish orb with wisps of white." Seriously, that's how they descibed it. They went on to call Earth a knocked-up gaseous alien needing an abortion.
Jay AsherHis door is closed behind me. It's staying closed. He's letting me go. I think I've made myself very clear, but no ones stepping forward to stop me. A lot of you cared, just not enough. And that...that is what i needed to find out. And I did find out. And I'm sorry.
Jay AsherCould be my soul mate / two kindred spirits / Maybe we're not / I guess we'll never / know
Jay AsherSometimes we have thoughts that even we don't understand. Thoughts that aren't even trueโthat aren't really how we feelโbut they're running through our heads anyway because they're interesting to think about.
Jay AsherAnd what about you-the rest of you-did you notice the scars you left behind? No. Probably not. Because most of them can't be seen with the naked eye.
Jay AsherJustin, honey, you were my very first kiss. My very first hand to hold. But you were nothing more than an average guy. And I don't say that to be mean- I don't. There was just something about you that made me need to be your girlfriend to this day I don't know exactly what that was. But it was there.. and it was amazingly strong. -Thirteen Reasons Why
Jay AsherDon't give up on me now. I'm sorry. I guess that's an odd thing to say. Because isn't that what I'm doing? Giving up?
Jay AsherIt's up to the reader to decipher the code, or the words, based on everything they know about life and emotions.
Jay AsherI want to look back. To look over my shoulder and see the Stop sign with huge reflective letters, pleading with Hannah. Stop!
Jay AsherThis time, for the first time, I saw the possibilities in giving up. I even found hope in it.
Jay AsherShe wants to believe my excuses so bad. Every time I lie, she wants to believe me so much.
Jay AsherI take a slow sip of lukewarm coffee, reopen the book, and read the words scribbled in red ink near the top: Everyone needs an olly-olly-oxen-free.
Jay AsherWhenever I'm out late she makes a sandwich for my school lunch. I always protest and tell her not to, saying I'll make my own when I get home. But she likes it. She says it reminds her of when I was younger and needed her.
Jay Asher