I asked Sunny if she would ever consider dating you. She said she would rather give birth to a porcupine on fire.

If Mark Henry was the Titanic, the iceberg would've sank!

If the Japanese are so smart, why do they eat with sticks?

In this day and time, with no competition you are really walking a tightrope. I mean you may think that no competition is good, but in reality no competition is really bad.

Jake 'The Snake's' two best friends are Jim Beam & Jack Daniels.

Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them.

Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.