I always wake up at the crack of ice.

We can afford almost any mistake once.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I drink to forget I drink.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

I never went to school beyond the 3rd grade, but my mother taught me the difference between right and wrong.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.