I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.

People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

I have a green card now, but they can take that away, yeah, they can take that away at any moment. So please don't; please let me keep it.

You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.'

I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.

If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.