When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.

It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.

Teenagers falling off skateboards - funny. Nut shots - funny. Breaking wind - funny. The world cannot change those. Those three things are columns upon which humor is built.

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.

I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.