Computers absolutely changed my life. Before I had a computer, I had never written one thing. Not one thing. I'm a very bad speller and I was embarrassed by that. When I would type, the little mistakes would make me nutty, and I would never edit anything.

This I believe: I believe there is no God.

Performers have the right to say what they want to, and anyone paying money has the right to accept or reject the art and entertainment that's available.

Cheerios bring back memories. I actually don't think I ate them much as a kid, though; maybe it's some sort of Jungian memory, I don't know. But they have so much sugar, it's great.

Comedy is taken care of by a free market.

A lot of people, to attack an outspoken atheist, one of the things they'll do is say, 'You are as bad as the fundamentalist Christians.' And my answer is always, 'I hope so.'

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.