I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.

Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

My wife gives good headache.

I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.

A hooker once told me she had a headache.