My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.
My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.