I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!

I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.

my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens

I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.

Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!