If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate

Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if you watch what I do, that's almost never the case. I'm just trying to keep the balloon in the air. It rarely turns into anything combative.

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.

Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.